英语简单笑话

经典短篇英语笑话带翻译

经典短篇英语笑话带翻译 　　爱笑的人，运气总不会太差，那么你喜欢笑么?这里我收集整理了好些搞笑的经典短篇英语笑话带翻译，一起来看看吧!说不定能点中你的笑血哦! 　　经典短篇英语笑话带翻译篇一：I Wasn't Asleep 　　When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!" 　　"I wasn't asleep," the man answered. 　　"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed." 　　"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car." 　　我没有睡着 　　当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒!” 　　“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。 　　“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?” 　　“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的`车上有女士站在我身边而已。” 　　经典短篇英语笑话带翻译篇二：第一次开出租车 　　A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window. 　　The driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years." 　　乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀，想问个问题。司机大叫起来，车也失去了控制，几乎撞上一辆公车，还上了便道，在还差几厘米就撞上商店橱窗时终于停了下来。 　　司机说：“伙计，别再这么干了。你把我吓破胆了!”乘客抱歉地说，“我没想到拍你一下就吓成这样。” 司机说：“对不起，也不全是你的错。今天是我第一天开出租，以前25年里我一直开殡葬车。” 　　经典短篇英语笑话带翻译篇三： 　　A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry, honked his horn . 　　"If you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, I won't like what I'm going to have to do." The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by. "What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son. 　　"Back up two miles," replied the farmer. 　　一位农夫和他的儿子乘坐轻便马车来到一段窄路，他们遇到一个开车的人向相反的方向去。两个方向的两英里以内都没有地方可以使他们相擦而过。驾车人甚是着急，按响了喇叭。 “如果你不后退，”农夫说着撸起了袖子，“我可不喜欢我将不得不做的事。”司机吃惊不小，挂上倒挡，向后退了两英里，让轻便马车先过去。 　　“刚才在那儿你说过的你不喜欢要做的事是什么?”农夫的儿子问道。 　　“退后两英里，”农夫回答道。 　　经典短篇英语笑话带翻译篇四：All Right 没关系 　　Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. Uh-oh, I said, realizing my mistake. I just make an illegal turn.I guess it's all right, my daughter replied, The police car behind us did the same thing. 　　我赶着开车将11岁的女儿送到学校去，在红灯处右拐了，而那是不允许的(译注:在一些国家如英国,其交通规则是车辆左行的,与我国相反)。啊噢，意识到犯了错误，我说。我刚才拐弯是违章的。我想那没关系的，女儿回答说：我们后面的警车也同样拐了弯。 ;

英语简短笑话带翻译

英语简短笑话带翻译 　　会讲笑话的人都是有好人缘的人，所以我们要多亲近一些笑话大王们。现在我也来当笑话大王啦!我给大家收集整理了英语简短笑话带翻译，一起来笑笑，收集好人缘吧! 　　英语简短笑话带翻译篇一： 　　你在哪里遇到你太太呢 　　And Where Did You Meet Your Wife ? 　　你在哪里遇到你太太呢? 　　Two acquaintances were in the barber shop getting shaves at the same time. 　　两个熟识的朋友刚好同时在理发店内刮胡子。 　　After the barbers had finished, 　　理发师刮完他们的.胡子后， 　　each man was asked if he would like some after-shave applied to his skin. 　　两人都被问到要不要在脸上抹上一些刮胡子后所使用的香水。 　　"No, no," answered the first man. 　　“不，不，”第一个先生说。 　　"My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse. " 　　“我太太会以为我去过妓院。” 　　"Go ahead," said the other. 　　“我没关系，”另一个先生说道。 　　"My wife has never been in a whorehouse ! " 　　“我太太从没在妓院待过!” 　　英语简短笑话带翻译篇二： 　　别急慢慢来 　　Let's Not Be Hasty 　　别急慢慢来 　　Said the wife to the husband. 　　一位妻子对她先生说道： 　　"Dear, we just have to get a new family doctor. 　　“亲爱的，我们必须另外再找一名家庭医师， 　　This is the third time old Dr. Davis gave me the wrong prescription and nearly killed me." 　　这已经是戴维斯医生第三次开错药方，差点就要我的命!… 　　"Oh, come on. sweetheart, let' s give him another chance. " 　　“喔，别这样吗!亲爱的，再给他一次机会试试看。” 　　英语简短笑话带翻译篇三： 　　Getting into His Work 　　专注于工作 　　The priest was so concerned with the welfare of his pretty young parishioner that he invited her to his private quarters to discuss her confession. 　　一位神父非常关切教区内一位年轻美丽的教友幸福，因此便邀她到他私人住处讨论她的忏悔。 　　"Now, let me get this straight," said the priest. "This young man you went out with did he put his arm around your shoulder like this?" 　　“现在让我把事情搞清楚，”神父说道，“这个年轻人跟你出去他是不是像这样把他的手臂绕在你的肩膀?” 　　"Yes, Father, and worse. " 　　“是的，神父，还有更糟的事情呢。” 　　"And did he put his hand on your thigh like this?" 　　“他也像这样把手放在你的大腿上吗?" 　　"Yes, Father, and worse. " 　　“是的，神父，还有更坏的呢。” 　　By now the clergyman was thoroughly aroused. He hiked the girl's skirt and gave her a vigorous humping. "And did he do this?" he inquired. 　　此时神父已被刺激得兴奋莫名，他撩起女孩的裙子，元气充沛地和她做起爱来，“他也这样做吗?"神父问道。 　　"Yes, Father, and worse, " 　　“是的，神父，还有更糟的呢!” 　　“ But what could be worse than what Ijust did?" 　　“有什么还比我刚刚所做的更糟呢?" 　　"I'm afraid, Father, that he gave me the clap." 　　“恐怕，神父，他把淋病传染给我了。” 　　英语简短笑话带翻译篇四： 　　迟到的原因The Reason of Being Late 　　Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning? 　　Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'. 　　老　师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到? 　　约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着‘学校-缓行’。 ;

英语小笑话带翻译简短

笑话：推荐信 Letter of RecommendationWhen Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of humanresources. "Since I've been with the firm for so long," he said, "I think I deserve at least a letter ofrecommendation."The human resources director agreed and said he'd have the letter the next day. Thefollowing morning, Peters found a letter on his desk. It read, "Jonathan Peters worked for our company for 11 years. When he left us, we were very satisfied."彼得斯听说自己被解雇了，便去见人力资源部的头头。“既然我在公司千了这么久，说，〝我想至少该给我一封推荐信。人力资源部主任同忘了，并说他第二天就可拿到该信。第二天早上，彼得斯在他的桌子上看—封信，上面与道：“乔纳森-彼得斯在我们公司千了11年。当他离去的时候，我们很满意。“

英语小笑话带翻译简单

英语小笑话带翻译简单 　　英语小笑话带翻译简单一： 　　I Have His Ear in My Pocket 　　Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" 　　"A kid bit me," replied Ivan. 　　"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. 　　"I’d know him anywhere," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 　　 他的耳朵在我的衣兜里 　　伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,"发生了什么事?“ 　　”一个男孩咬了我一口，“伊凡说。 　　”再见到他时你能认出来吗?"妈妈问。 　　“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的`耳朵还在我的衣兜里呢。” 　　NOTE 　　recognize v.认出 realize v.认识到(某种事实等) 　 　英语小笑话带翻译简单二： 　　The Climate of New Zealand 　　Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand? 　　Matthew: Very Cold, sir. 　　Teacher: Wrong. 　　Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen! 　　 新西兰的气候 　　老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样? 　　马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。 　　老师：错了。 　　马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。 　　NOTE 　　frozen adj. freeze 的过去分词 　　冰冻的, 冻僵的, 冻伤的 　　[美](事实真理等)不可推翻的 　 　英语小笑话带翻译简单三： 　　The Fourth Element 　　Teacher: What are the four element of nature? 　　Student: Fire, air, earth, and... and ... 　　Teacher: And what? Just think it over, what do you wash your hands with? 　　Student: Soap! 　 　第四元素 　　老师：自然界的四大元素是什么? 　　学生：火、气、和。。。和。。。 　　老师：和什么?想一想， 你用什么洗手的? 　　学生：肥皂。 ;